Ripple in the water

The past few weeks has been horrendous. Is this me exaggerating? I have zero idea. It’s funny how I’ve been learning so hard to ensure that I acknowledge other people’s pain and hurt but have no idea how to validate my own.

The past few weeks, Big Man decides to stir the pot in every area of aspect of life – literally. He said “Imma stir jussstt a little. But in all of them” and see what she does. Will she still choose be a selfish-self-centered ass?

It’s like a soft little ripple in the water done with someone’s hand. But if there is 100 people doing the same motion at the same time there will be waves.

The accumulating ripples was just vibrating away in my head that I thought I might drown.

Peace of mind – lost it.

I’m checked out, Dismiss people etc.

Not kind – period.

With not being kind, I thought to myself – All I wanted out of life is to be of service to others and go to heaven.

But how can I be of service to others if I’m agitated, cynical and sarcastic right?

I want to fix this. I really wanna do better. Feel better. Stop doing stupid shit.

Be calm, Be patient with others, be non judgmental and just love other human beings as they are.

With that I need to make my own life calm. Be able to hold my ground but flow softly like water, bend to any objects but still able to maintain its state again.

Solat, Quran and Tahajjud I think is the key. Followed with working out, good sleep and eating healthy.