It’s a question I get very often. Tbh at that point when people ask, I have no idea what to answer because I haven’t actually really thought about it. But, a slump in my life made a barrier reef between me and reading – I had to re-fall in love again with what once I used to love. So,I think I can answer it now. Here goes :)

First off, the WHY you are reading is the core of this. Read because you want to know something. Is it to learn something new? Is it to know what other people’s life are like? Is it to relate to another person that is going through something similar to you? When you know that, your brain knows what it needs to get from this book and it will be more excited to dive in it :)

Second, authors have different writing styles, find the one that you like :) For me, I realized that I like authors that uses simple day to day english and author that write as though they are talking to me.

Third, find a book that has the layout and formatting that you like :) Do you like pictures? find magazines or pictures based books. You like book with the paragraph aligned in the centre? Find them.

Fourth, the material of the book is also very important. Do you prefer digital based books? Do you prefer cream coloured paper or white? For me, I like cream coloured paper and the cover to not the hard one. How about you?

Fifth, you don’t have to read everything single words in the book :) This I think is the main issue that most people have to be okay with. So, if its like a self help book – you don’t have to read everything, read the only topics that you want to know and its okay :) But if say its a novel, you can skip chapters if you want and go straight to the finale. Entirely up to you. So remove the notion that reading a book means looking at it from cover to cover.

Hope this helps! There is many different ways to learn, reading books need not be one. Find something that you actually enjoy learning from :)

Setiap aksara namamu terpahat di sanubari,

Wahai Tuhan, pemerintah semesta antariksa,

Lindungi dia, rajuna yang ku damba.

When my love for you fades,

Life shall reset,

And as clear as day,

My heart will say,

Day one,

Warrior of the decade.

Anyway,

I’m thirty this year. The big three-zero. 3 months in, I feel good about turning 30 actually. All this years of people pleasing are fading. It’s there but slowly washing away. How amazing is that?

I’m starting to fall in love with myself too <3

I love how I like coloring,

I love how I like poetry,

I love how I feel things deeply,

I love how I love to listen to sappy, slow indonesian and english pieces,

I love how I like beaches and how the waves sings,

I love how I care about others and the humanity deeply,

I love how physical art makes me feel free,

I love how wearing skirts and batik makes me feel cosy,

I love how reading books transport me to the farthest galaxies,

I love how I enjoy crime and lawyer based movies & documentaries,

I love how I can’t sleep without a fluffy and soft blanky,

I love how I laugh at almost everything,

I love how despite all of the above I’m logical and very analytical in my thinking,

I love how despite all of that my profession requires me to know coding,

I love how despite all of that I gravitate towards black in everything.

I used to hate me and seek validation externally. It’s been a wonderful journey to get here but I’m glad this is start to a life long process of finally loving and accepting me. One thing I hold dear is, I went to an interview recently, and the interviewer told me, “I love how you have this aura of “this is me, take it or leave it”. As a people pleaser, that’s the highest compliment someone can give. As it shows that I’m finally free.

Well, as Buddha puts it – life is sufferings. And in the Islamic perspective, you’re put on earth to be tested and be the caliphate for the end goal which is Heaven in the hereafter.

So, life will throw at you things and your choice of how you respond to it will either make or break you. Some become bitter, some become content and happy. It really depends on how people decide to resolve their problems.

If we break down a problem or pain – there is actually 2 parts to it. The physical/mechanical aspect to the problem. And the emotional disruption that the problem brings to you. Fixing the the physical aspect of the problem is the easy part. Fixing the emotional aspect of the problem is the harder one to deal with. But the latter, lingers for a while if it’s not addressed and will give a more permanent mark in someone. Personality wise or attitude wise.

But then, from young – we are not taught on how to deal with emotional problems. We are always taught to just “man up” and brush it off. Or just deal with it yourself. So asking for help to fix emotional pain is not something that’s natural for people. Actually, it’s shameful to do that. Especially in the Asian community, it’s even worse.

Now that I’m more aware of it, I’m slowly learning how to fix my own emotional issues. But man it ain’t easy. It’s a muscle that haven’t been used. So learning the skill is like rocket science. You’d be a mess and explode every now and then. But well, at least there is a start somewhere.

But yknow, you just calm yourself and collect your composure. The beautiful lady next to me (that I was staring at for a while) instantly gave me tissue, nice lady. The owner of the store came with a mop and cleaned the place, he even offered me a new cup of coffee. To replace the one that spilled. Kind soul.

Idk what sign from god this is but I’m sure there is a reason things happen one after the other. I just want to go home hug my mom at this point.

Fixing it ain’t gonna be cheap, buying a new laptop ain’t cheap either. hmm.

The breeze here tho is amazing. I suck at taking photos but if only I can capture the moment here. Cold breeze surrounded by trees, greenhouses. These are the times where I’d wish I’ve invested in an iPhone…but then how do you capture the breeze and smell. Someone, invent something would ya.

After that, I went to NuArt Sculpture Park. The art there was a wee bit depressing. But well, art is an expression of ones inner self. So usually the ones that get potrayed to the outside world each day is the happy side of our lives. The dark parts are buried inside, so I think that’s why when we create art the dark parts is burning to come out. Unless, you are in totality a good person. Then, I admire it. I ain’t it.

That decision is made when you are 17.

How mature are you when you were 17? I remembered at 17, I was clueless. My choice was 95% based on what the majority of my family was doing and then I don’t like blood. Thanks goodness I actually liked it. Only now as I am older I find out that I’m interested in other things. Like psychology, flying etc.

So that got me thinking, would my kid know what they want at that age? Or do I just let them do whatever they want to do after high school, like volunteer in Uganda or something for a few years. Once they figure it out, support them. This hustle culture is tiring really.

Idk, I guess, it’d be better if they are in tune with themselves and the world sooner than I am. Then they’d know what they truly want faster. Tho at the same time not feeling entitled. Dang it, raising a kid seems hard.

Am on train to Bandung. Such a good 3 hour ride to have random thoughts. Plus there is a kid on my right that just stares at me 😗 kid, do l look that aneh to you? haha

In every taxi that I got in, every receptionist, cleaners that I talk to, the only thing that people sigh about is their cost of living and job market. Sure, I’m not discussing this with my colleague in big corporates here but even for corporate people, they don’t make as much as their counter parts in another country for the same job scope.

If you run down the streets, you can literally see people doing almost anything. At a road junction, people attempt to take tip by stopping traffic on the other end of the road for incoming cars. People singing from hawker stall to hawker stall to get tip from that. People standing in the rain, trying to control parking. Literally, whatever they can get money from. Every time I see them, I feel sad.

One thing that I truly remember was a grab driver said “Janjinya kalau hijrah ke Jakarta dapet rezeki yang lebih tapi malah sama aja. Capek”

How blessed am I? How blessed are us?